Well I guess we better say a little about the other 31 nations taking part in this here festival of football. I think for ease of me remembering who is there we'll take it group by group.
Group A
South Africa - the hosts will be full of enthusiasm but weary of being the first host nation to fail to reach the knock stages in what should be a tightly contested group. Everton's Steven Pienaar is their most recognisable and probable best player. Expect lots of vaguely condescending commentary on their efforts and a lot of noise from the local fans. In with a good shout of making the top two.
Mexico - perennial turnouts Mexico typically turn up look disappointing and then go home. Their best player in this country is Carlos Vela who currently can't get a game for Arsenal ahead of Nicholas Bendtner (who is rubbish.) Will quickly fade away and hopefully be remembered for at least embarrassing the French
Uruguay - amusing names aside a team with a few useful players, notable Diego Forlan who used to look terrible upon terrible playing in this country but has since gone to remember he's actually a goal machine. Will via for progress with South African and France.
France - first all remember the French are only here because they cheated the Irish out of it. Then remember coach Raymond Domench picks his teams using astrology, and this is quite possibly why they have been terrible for the last two years or so. With luck they'll crash out in the groups, with more luck they'll go out later but in a blaze of flying headbutts as they seek to relive 2006's "glory". Ah, poor old ZZ.
Group B
Argentina - coached by the crazy, wild eyed national icon that is Maradona Argentina have a lot of very good players. The trouble is half of them aren't going because they haven't been picked. Lionel Messi is currently in brilliant form and is quite possibly the best player in the world at the moment. Expect him to have the holy crap kicked out of him at every opportunity by the opponents. Carlos Tevez is also quite popular in parts of Manchester and is the closet you'll see to an excited dog chasing the ball around on the pitch this summer.
Nigeria - one of the strongest African teams if rather uninspiring, some recognisable faces in there but will feel a bit like the newly promoted championship side trying to find it's Premiership way - i.e one or two surprising results but ultimately going home rather deflated.
Korea Republic - plucky underdogs who will do well to get a point away from home turf, but will undoubtedly do a lot better than their neighbours with whom they get on so well.
Greece - industrious but presumably all being paid with 'I.O.U's. Another dull but effective team making group B the least attractive of all groups to watch. May squeeze through to the next round but I wouldn't expect much more than that.
Group C
England - these guys we know about.
USA - ever improving but not as good as FIFA's confused ranking system makes them look. Clint Dempsey and Landon Donovan will be the danger men and are indeed useful players, the rest however are decent but nothing special. Remember to mock the popularity of 'soccer' in the States and just look at the needlessly 'trendy' team shield to comprehend the tackiness of American culture. Should finish 2ND to England in this group though. If fate has a sense of humour they'll somehow end up playing North Korea.
Algeria are just happy to be involved and will take anything they can get. Their best player has been playing for the terminally doomed Portsmouth this year, which currently says it all and even in that bunch Hassan Yebda looked a bit rubbish .
Slovenia - another side happy to at the party and I'll admit I don't know anything about of them. Expect them to go home early though and perhaps for some of them to get signed by the likes of Bolton and West Brom for next season.
Group D
Germany - the Germans always do well at these things, so expect an efficient second round place at the least (where they could meet England), penalty scoring prowess and team made of Swiss and Polish born players. Important central figure and captain Micheal Ballack has been ruled out by injury but Phillip Lahm and Bastian Schweinstegier are a pair of excellent players. But a crucial lack of firepower should them eliminated before the semi finals.
Australia - team Kangaroo will hope to make the 2nd round and do stand a half decent chance although the team is aging and reliant on Harry Kewell being fit and probably also Mark Schwarzer making a lot of saves. Will be the most friendly bunch of guys out there but football is one sport at which the cork hats aren't that good. Also may be distracted by watching cricket instead of training.
Serbia - another team about which I'll admit I know little but the buzz and word of mouth suggests they are a fairly good outfit and will be expecting to progress past the group stages and that's really all I can say about 'em.
Ghana - a good group of players (including John Mensah who impressed me very much playing for Sunderland this year but don't know how much that says) but with possibly a bit of shortfall in terms of the goal scoring department. Hard to say if they'll make the next round in a tight group but playing in Africa will see them receive great support which might be the tell tale factor.
Right that's halfway for now, I'll do and update with the rest of the groups tomorrow.
2 comments:
I can tell you that Slovenia were doing fairly well as an international side in 2008, though that's a) it was my Slovenian hosts who told me this and b) probably just another way of saying "We're a tiny nation with a football team that doesn't entirely suck". I shall be following them with interest, seeing as how Slovenia is currently (almost by default) my second home, internationally speaking.
I'm also looking forward to the American media coverage of the World Cup, mainly because I want to know whether their total disinterest in "soccer" will end up being outweighed by their spectacularly ugly brand of arrogant nationalism. If there isn't at least one comment along the lines of "This whole competition is a waste of the world's time, but even so that striker was off-side and also a Communist anti-Semite" by the end of next week, I'll be disappointed.
It will be interesting to see what the American coverage is like (they do seem to have genuinely woeful expat experts doing their coverage)- guess I can leave you in charge of that!
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