Films Of The Year (2010)

Now I did promise I would pick a top ten of films from this year in the end that became too hard to really do, there was too much "hmmming" and "ahhing" about. So in the end I've picked a top five (in no particular order) and a group of films all bubbling under but which I couldn't cut down enough to end with a top ten.

So first we're looking at those films that just missed out on the top spots. First up is Micheal Winterbottom's "The Killer Inside Me", by no means an easy watch but this tale of a psychotic town Sheriff is expertly put together with strong performances for it's three leads.

Next is Ben Affleck's second directorial outing "The Town" whilst it's not as strong as "Gone, Baby, Gone" it' still a tightly put together crime thriller which retains a very real sense of time and place in it's Boston location. It's starting to look like Affleck has found where he really belongs on the film set, behind the camera.

A pair of British comedies next with "Four Lions", which was Chris Morris' film debut and Banky's "Exit Through The Giftshop". Both are very entertaining and show promise for future efforts but both also had a feeling of being a bit too self aware of their satirical nature to really shine.

Christopher Nolan's "Inception" showed you can marry smarts to massive budgets and come up with something worth watching. It does have a couple of very impressive set pieces and imagination to spare but it just misses out on the top spots because the emotionality of the story wasn't quite there for me.

I also enjoyed Scorsese's "Shutter Island" with another fine performance from DiCaprio and the kind of ending that I perversely really like but it did suffer from a rather intrusive score in a few places.

"Iron Man 2" weighs in as the best of the typical summer blockbusters. Yes, it is essentially more of the same as before but Robert Downey Jr still has charisma to burn and is only a truly interesting villain away from scoring a superhero film that is a stone cold classic as opposed to just very entertaining.

And before we get to the final five as it were I'll reveal that "The A-Team" has been the guilty pleasure of the year. Yes it's silly but it knows it is. They managed to get the banter between the titular team right, some of the action is outstanding and what's not to like about a film with tank flying and Jessica Biel in uniform?

So here we go, it's my top five films of the year, but remember they're not in any particular order here.

The Disappearance Of Alice Creed
Released in April this year, Alice Creed a twisty turney three role thriller. Writer/director J Blakeson keeps thing taught and unpredictable crafting something that keeps you engrossed despite being largely set in one flat. Gemma Arterton proves she is more than a pretty face given the chance and Eddie Marson & Martin Compston excel as men quickly finding themselves out of their depth and struggling to get a foothold on events.

Up In The Air
A slight cheat this one but Jason Reitman's comedy drama hit these shores in January of this year. The tale of George Clooney's corporate downsizer is insightful, funny and heartfelt. It's also seemingly more relevant than ever in these economic times.

Winter's Bone
Debra Granik's rural thriller is outstanding and the surprise of the year to emerge from the festival circuit. Packed full of menace, mystery and a sense of place so strong you'll think you can see breath as you watch it. Jennifer Lawrence's central performance as the determined girl willing to do anything to keep her family together marks her out as a talent to watch out for in the future.

The Social Network
David Fincher strikes again with this tale of the rise of Facebook and the college guys behind it all. Technically masterful in every aspect(the real film nerd in me could pull this film apart endlessly in the skill of it's assembly) The Social Network makes combing divergent timelines and events seem easy and with the aid of Aaron Sorkin's script pulls together a witty and compelling story out of the real life events (albeit the truth is slightly bent to serve the film). Computing is the rock 'n' roll of the generation.

Scott Pilgrim vs the World
This hyperkinetic film assaults the senses and comes away a winner. Breezy, full of invention, charm and wit with that added glow of nostalgia for those of us that remember the days of 8-bit adventuring. Director Edgar Wright further hones his frenetic style but also keeps his hand sure during the (few) slower moments. Sadly Mary Elizabeth Winstead's Ramona never really seems to be really all that great but Kieran Culkin's scene stealing turn as the flat mate makes up for the one disappointing performance. Rarely will you see anything else with such a sense of fun, vibrancy and sense of life.

So there you go, I'm sure people have vastly different opinions on their own choices for the year but that was mine. Just before we go I'll end by saying that at the other end "Predators" whilst perhaps not the worst film I've seen this year was certainly the most disappointing since I actually hoped it might turn out well but in the end it was the most criminal of things for a film. It was just plain boring.

The Power of '3'

3 is the magic number next year in the world of gaming with three of the biggest franchises rolling out their third installments, each one looking to be truely epic saga endings.

So watch below and wait with baited breath for the return of Nathan Drake, Commander Shephard and Marcus Fenix.

Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception

Video Games | Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception | VGA 10: Exclusive Debut Trailer HD

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

Mass Effect 3

Video Games | Mass Effect 3 | VGA 10: Exclusive Debut Trailer

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

Gears of War 3

Video Games | Gears of War 3 | Ashes to Ashes Debut Trailer

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

Trailer of the day: Somewhere

It's another mood piece from Sofia Coppola and by the sounds of it another little charmer;

The A-Team

It's another return to the 80's after Predators resurrection of the archetypal big concept movie we have a retooling of one of the classic TV series of the decade hair styling forgot.

Yes, it's the new A-Team film. Released in the cinema earlier this year it didn't really set the world alight but catching up with it on Blu-ray I can honestly say the film was a lot of fun. A lot of big 'ol dumb fun, just like the television show.

We open on with a prologue that sees the gang meeting up with each other for the first time and we're introduced to each one in turn with character names stamped onto the screen as iconic lines are delivered, gone is the fear the film might take itself too seriously.

It's a sequence that also nicely sets up B.A.'s fear of flying throughout the rest of proceedings during a frantic helicopter chase featuring a stunt so cool even the bad guys applauds the antics of his would be quarry.

Leaping forward a few years we see our heroes get framed (after another frantic action sequence), then break out of various jails (there's a nice nod to One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest and Phil Silver's Sgt.Bilko plus time for a couple of cameos)before setting out to clear their names and recover some stolen franking plates.

Whilst not being over taxing the plot does use a couple of neat turns as the gang avoid capture by Jessica Biel's dogged pursuit to recapture them, deal with a shady CIA agent (Patrick Wilson going for ever so slightly panto) and try to work just exactly who it was that set them up to start with. Along the way things exploded and people wise-crack.

But that's exactly what this film should be, one imaginative sequence sees the team plummeting in earthward in a tank. Yes, it strains the laws of science but, heck, go with it and it's all done with a sense of fun. Mercifully director Joe Carnahan lets you see what is going on for most of it too; nailing the action with aplomb and showing a comfortable hand with the comedy, it's only the more traditionally dramatic sections where he's a little unsure what tone to strike.

Liam Neeson is dependable as ever as Hannibal the wily old operator, Bradley Cooper turns on the charm as 'Face' and sparks well with Biel and Quinton Jackson acquits himself well enough as BA. But it's Sharlto Copley who gets the best moments and makes the most of them as Mad Murdock, overall the guys do function well as a group bouncing off each (lines come in and over each other, helping give the sense these guys have worked together for years.

So turn off your brain and enjoy a daft adventure (with the occasional streak of wicked black humour) with plenty of bangs and a couple of laughs. It may take a while to settle down (the opening ten minutes or so is a little choppy) but it left me with a silly grin on my face.

And of course it ends with that monologue...

Trailer of the Day : Die Hard

A classic Christmas movie....

Avatar reassesed

Unleashed upon the world in December of last year Avatar was hailed as a bold new step forward in cinema, as the greatest thing you will ever see. It was James Cameron's new monster following Titanic and almost one year later it has indeed gone on to be one of the biggest ever box office hits, taking over $760m in the USA alone.

People like it, people liked it a lot. People went to see it in 3D at the Cinema multiple times, some even complained that they felt depressed that they didn't live on the fictional world of Pandora. At the time I thought, well, I thought it was alright. A little overlong with a simplistic set of characters and story with a 3D element I found technically impressive but I felt didn't really add that much to proceedings.

I recently picked up the Blu-ray however (it was a quiet week and disc appeared good value with three cuts of the film and two discs worth of extras) and have rewatched the film in a longer cut plus a good deal of the supporting production material and I feel it's time to look at the film again.

First of all I'll start by saying I enjoyed the film much more the second time round probably due to a different level of expectation of what I was going to get from it and it is still worth talking about what works and doesn't work.

The version I put on was the latest cut released which clocks in at about two hours fifty minutes or so and one of the key differences is right at the start. Here we open up the film on Earth and witness the dead end existence Jake (Sam Worthington) is in until executives approach him with an offer and the news of his brother's demise.



This helps gives a little more colour to where Jake is coming from and is interesting in it's depiction of what has become of Earth, but is far from essential and as Cameron himself observes it does slow down the start of the film delaying the arrival to Pandora. The other major piece of material re included brings more depth to Sigourney Weaver's Grave as she recalls past days in the school and gives you more of sense of the friendship she shared with Neytiri's sister.

Elsewhere it's mainly extension of already existing scenes with a few seconds added here and few more over there and whilst the extra material gives a bit more breathing space to a couple of characters the truth is the cast of players is still very much a set by the numbers.

Jake is fairly strong as a lead character and whilst is never quite comes across that he has truly taken to the heart the ways of the Nav'i he does convince as someone who could a leader of people with Worthington giving a strong authoritative air when required.

The one moment when the film really puts across a strong sense of what Jake is feeling is during his first session in his avatar body, in particular the joy as he breaks out into a run for the first time since being crippled.

Zoe Saldana's Neytiri is probably the strongest character in the film, whilst she does start of as something of a cliche woman of the wild as the film runs we get a better sense of the pride in and duty to her people she feels. And it is interesting to obverse the differing take of Yunjin Kim in some test footage seen in the behind the scenes material when test sequences were put together.

In fact having seen the making of material a word of praise must go to all the Nav'i performers who went through a lot of work from classes in Archery to movement workshops to develop an 'alien' way of moving and it is true that if watch all the Nav'i move and walk in a way that is both different to the human cast and consistent as a group.

Character wise everyone else is there to move the story along pretty much. Grace is on hand to provide exposition when required, Michelle Rodriguez's Turdy flies people about, Stephen Lang's Colonel is evil (upto the point of almost having a black moustache to twirl) and Laz Alonso's Tsu'tey there to provide the required initial distrust and acceptance of Jake.

But most wasted I feel is Giovanni Ribisi's company man who seems to have had a character arc sent to the cutting room floor at some stage entirely. We're given just enough to think he isn't a bad guy and that he might feel what he is doing wrong at some level but by the end his only contribution seems to be to cheer on the Colonel. I not sure if this is what was intended but it does seems strange to make such little use of the character.

Whilst the characters are a little shallow the cast all put in decent to strong performances with Stephen Lang probably taking the right route of being ever so lightly pantomime in his role. But it is Zoe Salanda who stands out, which is a remarkable achievement given her performance is completely behind the technological CGI wizardry.

Now, there is where I shall divert onto the production side of things for awhile. Back when it was released I wasn't convince why Avatar was a "game changer" but now I start to see.

All the performances beneath the CGI are genuine performances you see, just ones that happen to look like blue cat people. The system used basically allows the actors to perform as they would normally but wearing special suits that are tracked by a number of cameras, footage for which is then captured and used to render the final images.

The facial performances are captured by cameras rigged to helmets fitted to the actors which gives close up footage of the all important element, the face. Which is then used to ensure the captured performance is translated as well as possible when it comes to be turned into the CGI image. Some minimal animation is applied by essentially what you see on screen is what the actor did.

Taking things to really the next level is the fact that Cameron can watch all of this virtually, instantly. That is to say that looking at a monitor connected to a collection of sensors and a no doubt very expensive computer rig he can view the actors and action in front of him pretty much as it will finally appear, from any angle.

That is to say the system is applying the CGI and animation on the fly, instantly and it is very impressive indeed. It is this and the effectiveness of translating the actors performance that is potentially a changer of the game. As Weaver observes now she can play anything; a blue cat-person, a small girl, a younger version of herself, a blading middle age midget and it will still be her performance we see rather than a cruder mash of her and a bunch of animators.

And it is this technological leap that helps the film in it's most successful aspect, it's overall production design. Whatever you may say about everything else the world of Pandora is glorious to look at (botanists and biologists were consulted alongside a team of some of the best fantasy/science fiction artists out there) from the bio-luminance of the foliage to the impressive array of creatures that populate the forest.



If I was ten the visuals and imagination would blow my mind completely, as it is I am quite impressed. The sight of Pandoran horses running through a burning forest is as striking an image as you'll find anywhere. Though I admit I still have some doubts on the design of the human technology, as much as I like the Shuttlecraft I don't like the cumbersome looking giant helicopter thingy.

James Horner's score is perhaps not that distinctive but is effective in doing it's job, contrasting the tribal rhythms and sounds of the Nav'i's world with more traditional orchestral bombastic scoring when called for, i.e when things are fighting.

Yes it's simple, it's a little over earnest and it's all about the spectacle but then so was Star Wars. So whilst I wouldn't say I think the film is a great one, I will happily sit and watch again when in the mood for something that looks glorious but isn't too taxing on the brain it will fit the bill perfectly.

On a small note I will say that for all the hoopla the 3D version I saw at the cinema was spoilt slightly by the 3D as it seems rather than proving more immersive it had the opposite effects and pulled me out of the film a little. Thus I was prevented from allowing myself to be swept along by it and left to admire it on a technical basis.

The Academy still called it right though, Hurt Locker gave me heart attacks.

The best scene of television I've seen in a long, long time...

Sadly no link to embed, but follow the link and witness three and half smart, heartfelt, fantastic moments of drama.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suRDUFpsHus&feature=fvw

Brilliant even if you've not been watching the series and just breathtaking if you have (the end of this episode is a gut punch as well)

Trailer Of The Day : Your Highness

This looks very immature, but like it could be really quite funny. Doing what Tropic Thunder did for the way movie for the fantasy epic?

Oh, this Red Band trailer probably a little unsafe for the more staid offices....

Chelsea vs Sunderland

An unexpectedly excellent point for Sunderland at the Bridge. Yes, Chelsea were poor and off the pace but credit to Sunderland for taking advantage. Bruce bravely went with two front men and the side responded as everyone had a good game.

Combing energy and commitment with some phases of excellent play Sunderland were rightful winners. Not allowing to Chelsea to settle on the ball they ensured the opponents didn't create any real chances in the opening thirty minutes or so and with the crowd quiet, the Black Cats began to push forward.

The pace of Welbeck and determined play of Gyan started to unsettle a makeshift Chelsea defence and it wasn't long before Sunderland fashion a series of excellent chances with Cech keeping them out. It was actually after a great double save by Cech that the opening goal of the game came.

Nedum Onuoha had followed the play froward from right back, picked up the ball near the edge of the area and dramatically ran through a gap of the center of the Chelsea defence, eluded a couple of chances and managed to scuff the ball into the far corner of the net.

Amusing when asked on the radio after the game if knew what he was going to do upon collecting the ball his response was to observer that he knew he was too far to shoot and just decided to push forward and see what happened.

In the second half it was fair to expect a response from the champions, but it never really came as again dogged defending from Sunderland (Zenden in particular was excellent in this regard) denied them a clear opening and seven minutes into the half a counter attack saw Welbeck combine with Henderson who played Gyan through on goal for the Ghanaian to finish comfortably.

Impressively Sunderland's work ethic didn't falter throughout the rest of game and Chelsea appeared to lack imagination enough to unlock and well organised defence. Turner and Bramble proving strong in the center as the full backs and wingers did well to keep Chelsea quiet on the flanks denying Cole and Boswinga the change to push forwards.

Sunderland's third came from a mistake from Cole as he undercooked a pass back to his 'keeper but it was a goal well deserved for young Wellbeck who I'd pick as today's man of the match for the red and whites.

Predators

A follow up to the 80s action 'classics' (let's face the originals are both kind of ropey albeit entertaining) Predators sees a band of survivors thrown together in a mysterious jungle to battle eponymous creatures.

Right, so yes they are on an alien planet but no there are nowhere near as many Predators involved as you have been led to believe. (To the point where one part of the trailer is a complete lie). Our group of characters nee disposable ciphers are all vicious killers of one type or another but sadly most of the fail to carve out any kind of memorable feature.

Leading the lot is Adrien Brody doing his best Christian Bale as Batman impression as some kind of tough but honorable underneath mercenary soldier, the type essayed so much better by Vin Diesel in Pitch Black. Suffice to say he really doesn't convince, nor does Alice Braga in the standard tough woman role who just doesn't make you believe this woman is a soldier, it's a part that should have gone to Michelle Rodriguez who plays this type of part in her sleep.

Elsewhere Laurence Fishburne is entertainingly mad in a brief appearance about halfway through and Topher Grace's character at least has some development but it is left far too late to really make much of impact on things.

So the characters aren't that interesting, what about the action? Sadly this isn't great either. There is less of it than you would of thought and when it does arrive unfortunately director(and Robert Rodriquez understudy)Nimród Antal makes it hard to really tell what is going on for large parts and fails to inject any sense of excitement into other parts.

Take for example an early section where are group of survivors are attacked by alien dogs things. They all turn and start blasting away with their various weapons...and apparently hit nothing at all as the dogs keep coming. Even the girl with the sniper rifle is just blasting away and the guy firing the minigun which should be destroying the forest (a la the first film) is doing no damage to anything, anywhere. Of course as the scene moves on our 'heroes' become deadly accurate as needed by the beats of the action.

"We're much better than these guys"

It's not helped by the Predators themselves which seems to act in different ways depending on what the script dictates. At first they creep around using their camo tech to sneak up and skewer people, then they seem happy to just blast away with their shoulder canons before illogically accepting stand up sword fights with a Yakuza gangster wielding a samurai sword in an open field.

We even have a Predator vs Predator fight for no clearly explained reason but even this is unengaging. In fact nothing interesting is done with the Predators themselves, they just become fairly unimaginative monsters. You could probably replace them with any other cinematic boogie man without really changing the film. They simply turn up, kill people, vanish, turn up again and them get themselves killed in idiotic ways.

It's like someone put together a list of cool things to have in a Predator movie (see the above mentioned samurai sword wielding Yakuza), scratched their heads to string them to together and threw in a couple of references to the original and filmed that.

Unfortunately this means you're left with a film everybit as unfocused, underdeveloped and half cocked as that makes it sound. In short it's very disappointing to the point where I'd say AVP: Alien vs Predator is a much better Predator film than this one.

Bollywood Action : What the hell...? Seriously, whaaaa....???

The Social Network

I've been a bit slow to put something up on this one having seen it last week. It's the story of Mark Zuckerberg who became the youngest billionaire on the planet by striking lucky with Facebook. But was it all his idea and who got burnt in the process?

Now admittedly in it's purest form the story may not seem that interesting to many (I find this kind of thing fascinating) and the way the film unfolds is potentially alienating as it skips between three different strands; two lawsuits and the past events involved. But I thought there was life enough in the film to make it a fine watch.

Jesse Eisenberg's Zuckerberg is something of an enigma. It's hard to really warm to the character but a combination of wry wit and the fact he often seems to be something of a rabbit in headlights keeps you on his side. Just about. It's a strong performance and astute writing (from Aaron "West Wing" Sorkin) that pulls of the balancing act of the character.

But it's Andrew Garfield's role as co-founder Eduardo Saverin that more often than not you're sympathising with as he remains the level headed one just trying to keep control in the escalating phenomenon around him. There is also a stand out turn by Armie Hammer as the twin brothers who argue the site was their idea.

Justin Timberlake also continues to build himself a respectable acting career in his turn as Sean "Napster" Parker coming across as something approaching Tyler Durden for the IT crowd.

Away from that the film is of course as technically excellent as all of Fincher's work. Smart mise en scene and editing means we never lose track of where we are as the film jumps between the two lawsuits and the evolving story of the site's creation.

Added to this is an excellent sound design (note the slyly changing volume levels during the house party) with an off kilter soundtrack provided by Trent Reznor of 'Nine Inch Nails' fame that keeps the film always seeming slightly out of control as were the real life events.

And you would never guess that the Winklevoss brothers are one actor.

Good old Roger Ebert sums up it well when says ""David Fincher's film has the rare quality of being not only as smart as its brilliant hero, but in the same way. It is cocksure, impatient, cold, exciting and instinctively perceptive"

Sunday Smile

This starts slow but keep watching, it's random, it's genius.

Trailer Of The Day : Scream 4

I rate the first two and the third is diverting enough so I quietly excited about the upcoming return to Woodborough.

Trailer of the day : Drive Angry

The Cage gets even more B-movie crazy on us...

Sunderland vs Aston Villa

Villa will count themselves unlucky to come away from this one with a defeat as in truth they dominated large parts of the game, keeping Sunderland penned back in their own half of the field for the duration of the second half in particular.

With Ashley Young and even Heskey proving constant threats. Sunderland played in well in bursts with once again Al-Muhammadi proving a handful on the wing. However Darren Bent was subdued and found his touch loose on a few occasions, though Cattermole once again managed to balance aggression and competitiveness.

But in defence Sunderland looked nervous and conscious of the pace within the Villa side, Turner in particular had a poor game as he constantly played the ball out of touch or straight back to his opponents.

The decisive goal game in the first half as Steed Malbranque made to it to the touch line and saw his cross put through the back of his own net by Villa's Dunne. Welbeck and Elmohamady both came close to adding to Sunderland's tally in the first half but after the break it was all Villa (although Bent was denied by an excellent challenge by Dunne when set free behind the Villa backline)as Sunderland throw bodies on the line and rode their luck during some vaudeville defending.

So not the level of performance of the last few games but the win will do the side good and Gyan appears to be getting close to full fitness and did enough to suggest a good partnership can develop between him and Bent during his spell on the field during the second half.

Slighty odd but captivating video of the day

The official video for a song called 'Remains' by Maurissa Tancharoen which was co-written by Jed Whedon and featured in Dollhouse. It's a strange one but absorbing and features Fran "Topher" Kranz

You don't have to be Mad..

Now having made my way through a good chunk of Mad Men I can say that I do like the show (even though it does tell my brain smoking is so cool) and I'm fascinated by Don Draper and Betty. Jon Hamm and January Jones both seem to be deservedly on the fast track to bigger things as both are excellent. Hamm brings and easy charm to Don with enough going on to convince you something is not as it seems below the surface whilst Jones bring a strength to the fragile seeming Betty.

It did take me a long time to recognise Vincent (Angel's Conner) Kartheiser as the vile little Pete Campbell. A man who will sleep with the new girl the day before his honeymoon and appears to be bored and contemptuous of his wife whilst desperately trying to suck up to all those around him. And yet watching this horrid man is compulsive as he strains to be top dog.

And it seems interesting times are ahead with the mystery of Don's background, the looming shadow of Nixon and Kennedy and just how far Peggy can go in a man's world.

If you've not checked it out yet I recommend it.

Trailer Of The Day : True Grit

The Coens return to make a proper western after the success of their 'modern' Western. This one could well be outstanding...

Sarah Silverman : Jesus Is Magic

First up on the Sarah Silverman DVD check list is 2005's 'Jesus Is Magic' a stand up performance taping with a few other bits thrown in.

Here Silverman's stand up covers race, politics (sort of), sex, the holocaust and midgets. It's all of course filtered through a off kilter world view and wrapped in a series of gags that rise a laugh from wrong footing the audience or from making an exaggerated observation.

The is no real link between each topic as she jumps around the material but this does mean that each segment doesn't overstay it's welcome and you're quickly onto another angle.

Stand out stuff includes the observation that Jewish people shouldn't buy German cars, a discussion of the appropriate use of racist terms, a rendition of Amazing Grace and how to choose the religion of your child. Truly everything is fair game with even the events of September 11th employed in the routine (the domain name pay-off is brilliant)



Less successful are the embellishments around the stand up routine. Basically these segments are tiny bits of The Sarah Silverman Program (which is basically for these who haven't seen it like Curb You Enthusiasm based around a Jewish white girl with a a splash of surrealism) which unfortunately feel out of place when presented in such short bursts with no real indication of who anyone involved is (aside from Silverman)

The amped up song numbers work a little better as they add a little more pep to proceedings and allow for at least one good visual joke.

Now I'm sure this show won't change your mind if you don't like Silverman's sense of humour but I'd recommend it as a good place to start for those unfamiliar with her and for those already a fan it will have you chuckling away.

The Sunday Smile

It's the Muppets once again and this time they have friends!

F.Y.I

Just you know, I've put off doing a post about Sarah Silverman until I've had the chance to so research. In other words I'm waiting to get the DVDs of The Sara Silverman Show and her stand up to come after ordering them at the end of last week.

Sarah Silverman has a solution to end world hunger

The woman really makes me laugh, she really does. I've been checking out YouTube to see what of her stuff is out there and think I'll be together a highlights package to convince doubters over the next couple of days. Watch this space and I'll leave you with this Internet meme classic....

James Cameron does have a sense of humour

James Cameron Laser Cats 5
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Legion

Legion is the very directorial outing for former Visual Effects man Scott Charles Stewart and is all about the efforts of a bunch of midwest American folks to survive a biblical apocalypse with a little bit of help from Archangel Micheal.

Unsurprisingly given his background the strongest aspect of Stewart's film is the way it looks. With suitably creepy adversaries as they scuttle across the roof and suitable majestic looking wingspans on the Archangels that feature.

It however could have done with a couple of turns at tightening up the script and story. We get vague attempts at adding depth to the array of typical 'Assault On Precinct 13' siege survivors but crucially the least convincing one is the guy who ends up effectively saving humanity.

Paul Bettany's Micheal just about gets away with it thanks to a spirited performance of wild eyed steeliness. Although a last minute reprieve for him cheapens an earlier sacrifice.

The main issue however is the film doesn't really commit to a given a scenario. A slightly overlong preamble means that when things kick off the film lurches from set piece to set piece trying to fit as many in as it can when it may have worked well as a tension racked siege instead of a flurry of fists and guns.

One that falls into that 'mostly forgettable' category when the idea is better than the execution.

Trailer of the day ; The Social Network

Yes, I know it's judt been videos and trailers recently but I'll get to something more soon. In the meantime it's a first look at David Fincher's return with The Social Network and early word of mouth is promising indeed.

Trailer of the Day : Winter's Bone

Another breakout from Sundance and one that could well be the film of the year.

"Oh, Sookie"

Looking forward to the next series of True Blood? Well so is Snoop Dogg;

Your Sunday night pre-Monday smile

It certainly makes me chuckle.

R.Tv.OR.F : Bluetones

Back to the mid-90s with a spot of the Stereophonics and ironically as the summers draws to close it's a song that always makes me think of the start of summer for some reason.

Sunderland vs. Arsenal

Right I thought I might start putting my own game reports here for the SAFC games I attend (and maybe the odd other game)so we'll kick things off with today's visit form the Gunners.

From the first whistle Sunderland started brightly, pushing Arsenal back and denying them the time and space to slip into their dangerous passing rhythm. Egyption winger Ahmed Elmohamady in particular was causing problems for Arsenal breaking down the touchline and winning the vast majority of balls that came his way in the air. On loan Danny Welbeck also looked sharp.

With Arsenal not clicking into gear they caught a lucky break when Cesc Fabregas closed down a clearance from Anton Ferdinand and so the ball come back off him and loop some 40yards over a stranded 'keeper to give the London side the lead.

However from here Arsenal failed to really take control of the game and most of the play and pressure was coming from a spirited Sunderland. But for all the possession a clear cut chance to level the scores couldn't be created and the half chance that were made were not taken.

Into the second half and Arsenal looked to impose themselves on the game, coming close to adding a 2nd goal to their tally through Arshavin and Chamakh but were reduced to ten men as Song saw red after picking up a 2nd yellow card for a cynical block on Sunderland's Malbranque.

Still having no doubt been given a earful at half time Arsenal's passing was back to close to it's quick and dangerous best, often putting the Black Cats on the back foot as Sunderland pressed for an equaliser.

An Arsenal penalty seemed to signal a win for the London club but Rosicky (on for Fabregas) blazed over giving renewed hope to his opposition. The final fifteen minutes of the game was open with both sides looking threatening as Arsenal broke whenever Sunderland pressure broke down.

Deep into injury time Darren Bent finally secured a deserved point for the Wearside team pouncing on a failed clearance in the box to smash home with pretty much the last kick of the game.



I'd pick out Elmohamady as Sunderland's man of the match for his work down the wing (putting in a number of dangerous crosses) and willingness to keep running to the very last. Slightly under pas was Jordan Henderson who wasted a number of corners but Danny Welback lucks a promising acquisition for the year and acknowledge must go to Titus Bramble who was once again solid and the back.

Kermode puts his money on the table

And the last quick post of the day sees Mark Kermode put his money on the table and declare that once again 3D cinema will die out and once more be seen as a daft old gimmick.



I'm not so sure but I've yet to see a 3D film that really makes me think it's the way forwards

Trailer of the day : Monsters

Looks like it could be a lot of fun..

Reach for that Halo

And indeed it is epic. Yes, at it's heart it is more Halo with few significant additions or changes to the formula. But it is all carried out a grand scale to the planet spanning fall of the titular human colony to the presentation and wealth of features in the package itself.

Alongside the campaign (noticeably darker in tone previous installments) you have the ever engaging Halo multiplayer with all it's options, the Forge, the Theater (a feature that continues to impress) and Firefight.

Firefight being the mode introduced in ODST that sees you fight off successive ways of enemy forces in the quest to score as many points as possible and it really is quite compulsive. On top of this four player co-op is available for Firefight and the main campaign.

Elsewhere the game engine has been overhauled and rebuilt and is now prettier than ever and capable of vast battles over open landscapes. The Covenant AI is scarily impressive as enemies behave as if they want to survive, well apart from the deliberately suicidal ones.

Plus this time the engine stretches to some fun space battles Star Wars style as the collection of Warthogs, Banshees and bikes extends to Space Fighters and Harrier Style fighter aircraft.

If developer Bungie keep their word and indeed never return to the Halo franchise they have gone out on a high note that can proudly sit atop the Halo tree.

Trailer Of The Day: 'Halo:Reach'

A bit different today as we go for a game trailer. It's the (very) soon to be here final installment in the blockbusting Halo franchise.



It's the fall of Reach, a corner stone of the franchise's rich mythology and it's shaping up to be epic.

...and we're back.

Inter world wide web super highway connectivity is restored at home and so a spot more of rambling on this here page can go on.

Since the last posts I have seen and loved Scott Pilgrim vs The World and Man Men, seen and thought quite good Shutter Island, seen and been disappointed by Hot Tub Time Machine. Was pleasantly surprised by FAQ About Time Travel, struggled to see what was going on in Pandorum and found Body of Lies to be quite average but passed the time in that Jack Ryan style thriller sort of way.

So here we go again...

Delays, delays. It's just like traveling by rail round here

Long delays on posting here since I've currently only got internet access at the office and not at home, as such no real time to post things up here.

Normal service will return as and when the web is home bound again

Trailer Of The Day : The Town

Ben Affleck showed a surprising maturity with his directorial debut in 'Gone, Baby, Gone' and now he's back on the streets of Boston with his follow up (and once again has assembled an impressive cast)

The Phantom Menace : Review, you know again.

Having watched this again recently (and remembering that my copy has the scribbles of Simon Pegg, Edgar Wright and Nick Frost on it) I thought it was time to post up some thoughts.

First of I think it's fair to mention that The Phantom Menace was never going to live up to all expectations. Expectations which after sixteen years and one mightily impressive trailer (see below) had been built up to sky high levels and I still believe that a lot of the negative reaction the film gets is connected to the fact that it could never been the film of everyone's dreams.




Now certainly the film is far from perfect on it's own terms but it's not as terrible as many would have you believe. I would in fact suggest that it is a perfectly entertaining piece of escapist science fiction (of fantasy if you're one of those Star Wars is fantasy types)

Often the film is criticised for it's story and plotting with many accusing it of being too dry and overly complicated. I really don't think this is the case, ok the opening text scroll isn't the most interesting but overall I feel the story works on the two levels required of it; to set up the following arc and as a self contained adventure.

In terms of the arc story we have the Trade Federation being manipulated in order to generate a crisis situation allowing Palpatine to take the reigns of government (along with Anakin's first steps on his path) and the smaller scale we have the story of two Jedi Knights fighting to protect a Queen and save a planet from a hostile invasion force (and their encounters along the way).

How anyone sees this as on overly complex tale I don't know, maybe they get themselves too bogged down in the small details, but this is hardly 'Chinatown' here, after the whole franchise is inspired by the '30s adventure serials (hardly known for their intricate plotting)

Another thing people seem to gripe about is connected to the plot, often I see people say the film has no clear protagonists despite the fact that Qui-Gon Jinn (Liam Neeson) and Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) spend ninety percent of the film on screen. Not sure how else you'd identify you're heroes.

What I suspect many people mean is that they feel there isn't a character which they can clearly identify with as the audience. In this I'd say there is more of an argument. In A New Hope Luke clearly fills this role as he is the outsider to the situation and this has to have a lot of stuff explained to him (and thus to the audience) added to this is the fact that he starts out as very much the 'boy next door' with nothing special to mark him out.

In contrast Qui-Con and Obi-Wan are already established players in their world, with special skills and little need to stop and have the world around them explained to them. They are indeed hardly to relate to as characters initially but that doesn't mean they aren't the film's main protagonists. In fact I'd even suggest Qui-Con is the main man and that Obi-Wan is amongst the second tier of characters alongside Padme, Anakin and Jar-Jar.

If you look at A New Hope it's the same kind of setup with Luke front and center with Obi-Wan, Han, Leia on the second rung then 'Droids and Chewie on the third. It's the characterisation that differs rather than the way the players are structured at this point.

It is true that film suffers from some dodgy acting, Jake Lloyd as little Anakin is terrible, but it's not all terrible. Liam Neeson in fact is very good throughout I feel, doing an excellent job of conveying a mentor figure to Obi-Wan and a very capable seasoned adventurer. He looks practiced in his sword fighting and even remains dignified when Jar-Jar is on screen.

Ewan McGregor is a little less steady as Obi-Wan but to be fair on this outing he isn't really given a lot to work with as at this stage his part remains largely functional rather than dramatic. The accent is a bit odd too.

Natalie Portman is decent as Padme (although the surprise reveal of who she was never did surprise me, but then that's because I can recognise actors) though her interactions with Jake Lloyd's Anakin are fairly poor, but I suspect that's largely not her fault.

Ian McDiarmid is charmingly suspicious, which is great because that's exactly what he's meant to be. And everyone else veers from a bit dodgy to blink and you'll miss them (keep you eyes and ears peeled for Keira Knightly, Soffia Coppola, Dominic "McNulty" West, Greg Proops, Celia Imrie and Terence Stamp) But then the original trilogy is hardly an acting masterclass but is largely carried along by the charm of Harrison Ford a lot of the time with the odd bit of help from various RSC members.

The digital characters are very well realised (eleven years before Jim Cameron 'changed the game') weather you like them or not you can't deny the technical achievement of integrating them so well into the film. As annoying as Jar-Jar is (and to be honest I can live with him) he does mark a leap forward. As do the likes of Watto and Sebulba. Added to the fact that their performance are better than some of the 'normal' actors.

For the last word on the performances I'd say take a look at the background and production footage and see just what a weird environment they were working in. It's not surprising they performances are little flat when being asked to act in front so much blue and green screen, then having to redo things many time so calibration shots can be done for the CGI work and characters. (And it's fair to say George isn't really an actor's director)

Production design the wise I think the film is a big success. Every location, alien, prop, costume is lovingly crafter and many of the sights are really quite impressive but this often seems to be taken for granted.

Each location is distinct and varied from the underwater locales of Naboo to the massive Senate chamber to (And if you're going to question the reality of an all desert planet then I'm afraid you'll probably want to be avoiding space operas all together). Whatever Lucas lacks in terms of using his actors and refining his scripts he retains his eye for a stunning shot set-up and creating an evocative universe.


Even the Battle Droids look cool although they are pretty much lame in all other respects. There is much more imaginationion going on here than there was in Avatar and yet one of them is accused of being too cartoony and the other is apparently the best thing since the invention of the moving image. People even complained that CG Yoda didn't look right. Well that's probably because he still a puppet in this one people.

Plus of course the design teams here gave us Darth Maul one of the coolest things in the entire Star Wars cannon and a character that provides one of the best moments in all of the films if you ask me as he enters that hanger and sparks up his sabre.




It is shame he was dispensed with at this stage though as I feel it wouldn't take to much or a rewrite for him to stick around and take over parts of Count Dooku's place in events. (In fact I would have Maul largely play Dooku's role with the Count replacing Grievous in the narrative)

The duel between Maul and the two Jedi in the third reel is in my mind the second best lightsabre duel in the two trilogies and the best within the prequel set. And with the final Vader versus Luke confrontation taking the prize out of the sheer drama it's the Maul brawl that leads the way in terms of the physicality on display. Some may make fun of the force fields involved (and to be fair they are rather inexplicable) but they do allow for a great little character moment as Maul prowls, Qui-Con meditates and Obi-Wan looks on frantically.

It just as well that this fight is the business though as the films other action set pieces are a little disappointing. The space battle is easily the weakest in the series (and I've always wondered why the Droid ship's reactor is in the hanger bay) and the big ground battle is spoilt by being a too heavy on the slapstick.

Of course the Pod race is the other big set piece. This one is initially thrilling and quite breathtaking but then it just goes on for too long. Had the race been half the length it would have been much more intense and thrilling but has it is you do find your attention wondering a little as the third lap begins and Anakin once again overtakes everyone from the rear of the field. (Still it did give rise to the Pod Racer game which I used to love as it was ridiculously fast).

The race does do it's job of offering up some action at the halfway point and the classic Star Wars third reel action fest does end up working quite well despite he baggage of two underwhelming segments.

In general I think The Phantom Menace offers up a good solid Star Wars experience, ok there a few bumps along the road but then that's true of a lot of things. It is true that the continuity isn't what I thought it would be all those years ago but now I've had time to love with it, you know, I'm ok with it.

Sure a bunch of things don't quite make sense but then I'm willing to let a few things go in a universe with magic and laser guns! In the end I think, mainly because of Qui-Gon, I prefer this entry in the series over Attack Of The Clones (which I've also watched recently and will get to next) but behind Revenge Of The Sith in terms of the prequel trilogy.

I'm sure people will disagree but I think by and large it seems to be the done thing to have a go at Phantom Menace but in a series that already gave us fighting teddy bears there's nothing here in my view that 'breaks' Star Wars and as a film on it's own merits it's fine (miles better than Temple Of Doom for example) and in my view quite enjoyable.

Pretending I have famous friends

I have spent a bit of time playing around on Twitter and I now can include Armando Iannucci, Elisa Dhusku, Kevin Smith, Elisabeth Banks, Sarah Silverman and William Shatner amongst those I follow as they post random nonsense about the world and thier lives.

Keivn Smith in particular seems to spend too much time on the thing...

Trailer of the day : Eagle Eye

It starts off as something of a Enemy Of The State copycat then throws up a ludicrous twist in it's tale but it does so with such a breathless state of fun and excitement that if you go with it you'll have a very enjoyable thriller.

Stephen King : The Videogame.

You are creeping through the woods, flashlight in hand frantically scanning the trees for the evil you know is lurking in the dark places beyond the shaft of safe light.

Your attention is caught by a sudden movement off to the side and your heartbeat races but as you turn it's plain to see that it was only a bird spooked as you pass by. As you reach the clearing you recognise the nearby bridge from the page of a manuscript you read only that morning. A manuscript you wrote but don't remember, but now you know what awaits you on the other side. And your blood goes cold.

But you must keep going to save the life of your wife.

This is the world of Alan Wake.

Alan Wake is a Xbox 360 game that has been in development for a number of years. It centers around the fictional thriller novelist as he takes a holiday to recharge his batteries in a small midwestern American town. However once his wife goes missing he'#s plunged into a living nightmare.

More an action adventure game than survival horror the game is an atmospheric little treat as you nervously stalk around in the woods. The key gimmick is the conflict between light and dark. The local townsfolk have been infected by a dark presence and to fend them off you must first burn off the darkness with the light of you torch before being able to finally shoot them down.

It's a simple mechanic that keeps the action of the game fun throughout it's playtime. But what really keeps you playing is the combination of sky high production values and an intriguing story that twists and turns right upto it's Twilight Zone style ending (it's no mistake the in game TVs all show episodes of a Twilight Zone knock off)

With set pieces ranging from a haunted asylum going all Poltergeist to fighting off advancing hordes from a rockband stage the game also has a sly sense of humour about itself. It's not the giant leap forward or masterpiece that the lengthy development time might have suggested but it's solid game and well worth a few hours of your time.



Recommended.

Taken

Taken is a brisk and entertaining thriller from that slightly murky but oh so fun little corner of the film world that is Luc Besson and friends. Directed by Pierre Morel (a former DP for Besson) it follows the tale of Bryan Mills an ex-government super-agent as he uses all his deadly skills to track down his kidnapped daughter and then brutally kill all those responsible.

Taking place mainly in the underbelly of Paris the film moves bristly between set pieces and grimy locals. Liam Neeson convinces totally as a man who is very dangerous indeed and will not stop at anything until he gets his daughter back. Crucially he also has the chops to convince in the quieter moments (in a way the likes of JCVD never could).

An old school Euro-thriller that they rarely make these days the films is a great little actioner with just enough of that Hollywood sheen scuffed off to make it a bit of something different.

Like It's A Coincidence Those Teams Have "Left-Wingers"

Having mentioned my interest in American coverage of the World Cup in an earlier comment, I spent a little time hunting for links this afternoon. I don't have a complete picture yet, but thanks to Media Matters, I can at least report one thing: the lunatic Right are apparently determined to outdo themselves.

I mean... it's just... well, goddamn. What can you possibly say about someone convinced that soccer is being forced onto Americans by the Left in order to prepare for when the Hispanics take over? Because it's a sport designed for poor people? Created by chopping the heads off of Caucasians, or something! I had to check Dan Gainor was a real person, and that he represented a real institute. And that I was reading a real website. And English was a real language, that these two could speak.

I have to say, though, I'm in awe of Liddy. It genuinely had never occurred to me that someone might argue liking football was a betrayal of American Exceptionalism. Remember, kids! Watching soccer isn't just pointless; it makes you a traitor!

Really, it's quite a trick. It's like Aesop's fable about the fox and the grapes, only in this case the fox is claiming he doesn't want the grapes anymore because he's recently learned they were planted by brown-skinned Communists in an attempt to poison Sarah Palin.

The rest of them

Ok took a little longer than planned but here we go with the rest of the squads at the party

Group E
Holland - the Dutch have a great chance with a strong squad this year if they can avoid their usual trap of fighting and squabbling with each other. The ol man Arjen Robben (ok he's like 25 but looks about 50) has been on flying form and if he can get fit will play a big part. Likewise Robin van Persie should be coming back fresh having missed so much of the season at Arsenal and Wesley Sneijder has been running the show at Inter. Expect them to stick to the pattern tho', amazing in their group games and looking like surefire champs followed by limp elimination in the second round.

Denmark the Danish will look to the second round as the target goal and should be in good shape to get there. But expect goal scoring to be the weak point with the hardly inspiring Bendtner leading the line.

Japan bound for noble failure the Japanese side will be full of running but a lack of experience against more worldly opponents will be their downfall. A good J-pop track or two is probably the best that could be expected of them. Nice shirt though.

Cameroon the 'Indomitable Lions' are somewhat like an international Bolton side. Big, strong but not very pretty or too concerned with making the play look nice. The have a shot at the second round as they will no doubt manage to out muscle the Japanese and then it's down to their game against Denmark as to who goes on most likely.

Group F
Italy the current world champions do no look like a side capable of holding onto their crown. They do not have really any players who are likely to really be able to turn a game and warhorses like Gattuso are starting to run out of time and energy at this level. But once again we can marvel at how efficiently and expertly an Italian side can break up the flow of a game it's doing well in to stifle the opponent and you never know we might once again get a display of expert sledging even without Marco playing.

Paraguay confess I don't recognise a single name on their teamsheet apart from Roque Santa Cruz who has spent the last year at Man City polishing the seats on the bench with his backside. So really no idea what they'll be like, but that's half the fun of the whole thing

New Zealand again not much I can tell you beyond they will be happy to take part and will quite probably go home without a point.

Slovkia complete the group of question marks on teams I don't know much about (& Italy), word on the wind appears to favour them for a least a 2nd round berth.

Group G
Brazil are first up in this year's "Group Of Death" and will obviously be one of the favourites of the competition as they always are. These days they play with slightly less flair under Dunga and a bit more pragmatism. Still it seems Robinho has decided to be interested now he's out of Manchester, Maicon is as good a full back as you'll see and Kaka could you fulfil his early promise. No-one will want to meet them in the knock out stages.

North Korea Poor north Korea in the worst possible group they could have drawn. They are just going to be bulldozed by the others.

Ivory Coast hope beyond hope that Drogba is fit as he is the main man without question but they may not be stuck without as they do have a strong looking side with the Toure brothers and Chelsea's Kalou in the mix. Plus an old schemer in the form Sven in the coach's seat. I actually expect them to progress into the second round ahead of Portugal

Portugal When you play Portugal you'll either be beaten by Christiano Ronaldo or you won't be beaten. Yes, the Portuguese have the honour of being the team most reliant on one man to get anywhere this summer. Look beyond him and it's a side of uninspiring faces and an ageing Deco. Can the smug one carry the side to glory? Personally I don't think so.

Group H
Spain should be champions. The current European Champions won that prize at a canter. Blessed with a midfield stuffed full of world class players (the frankly brilliant Fabregas isn't good enough to get a game here) and a pair of strikers who just deadly in Torres and Villa. The only suspect aspect to the side is their defence but since opponents are unlikely to actually get a touch of the ball it doesn't really seem important.

Switzerland the Swiss are another solid but really that exciting team who will hope that good organisation and patient play will seen them get results against the South Americans in the group for progress into the knock out stages.

Honduras /Chile - I'll do these two together since it's once more teams I know nothing about and so couldn't really tell you anything about them. So there's at least one game in the group that will be a complete mystery!

So there you go that rounds up the rest of the sides taking part.

World Cup Blaggers guide; Them other teams

Well I guess we better say a little about the other 31 nations taking part in this here festival of football. I think for ease of me remembering who is there we'll take it group by group.

Group A
South Africa - the hosts will be full of enthusiasm but weary of being the first host nation to fail to reach the knock stages in what should be a tightly contested group. Everton's Steven Pienaar is their most recognisable and probable best player. Expect lots of vaguely condescending commentary on their efforts and a lot of noise from the local fans. In with a good shout of making the top two.

Mexico - perennial turnouts Mexico typically turn up look disappointing and then go home. Their best player in this country is Carlos Vela who currently can't get a game for Arsenal ahead of Nicholas Bendtner (who is rubbish.) Will quickly fade away and hopefully be remembered for at least embarrassing the French

Uruguay - amusing names aside a team with a few useful players, notable Diego Forlan who used to look terrible upon terrible playing in this country but has since gone to remember he's actually a goal machine. Will via for progress with South African and France.

France - first all remember the French are only here because they cheated the Irish out of it. Then remember coach Raymond Domench picks his teams using astrology, and this is quite possibly why they have been terrible for the last two years or so. With luck they'll crash out in the groups, with more luck they'll go out later but in a blaze of flying headbutts as they seek to relive 2006's "glory". Ah, poor old ZZ.

Group B
Argentina - coached by the crazy, wild eyed national icon that is Maradona Argentina have a lot of very good players. The trouble is half of them aren't going because they haven't been picked. Lionel Messi is currently in brilliant form and is quite possibly the best player in the world at the moment. Expect him to have the holy crap kicked out of him at every opportunity by the opponents. Carlos Tevez is also quite popular in parts of Manchester and is the closet you'll see to an excited dog chasing the ball around on the pitch this summer.

Nigeria - one of the strongest African teams if rather uninspiring, some recognisable faces in there but will feel a bit like the newly promoted championship side trying to find it's Premiership way - i.e one or two surprising results but ultimately going home rather deflated.

Korea Republic - plucky underdogs who will do well to get a point away from home turf, but will undoubtedly do a lot better than their neighbours with whom they get on so well.

Greece - industrious but presumably all being paid with 'I.O.U's. Another dull but effective team making group B the least attractive of all groups to watch. May squeeze through to the next round but I wouldn't expect much more than that.

Group C
England - these guys we know about.

USA - ever improving but not as good as FIFA's confused ranking system makes them look. Clint Dempsey and Landon Donovan will be the danger men and are indeed useful players, the rest however are decent but nothing special. Remember to mock the popularity of 'soccer' in the States and just look at the needlessly 'trendy' team shield to comprehend the tackiness of American culture. Should finish 2ND to England in this group though. If fate has a sense of humour they'll somehow end up playing North Korea.

Algeria are just happy to be involved and will take anything they can get. Their best player has been playing for the terminally doomed Portsmouth this year, which currently says it all and even in that bunch Hassan Yebda looked a bit rubbish .

Slovenia - another side happy to at the party and I'll admit I don't know anything about of them. Expect them to go home early though and perhaps for some of them to get signed by the likes of Bolton and West Brom for next season.

Group D
Germany - the Germans always do well at these things, so expect an efficient second round place at the least (where they could meet England), penalty scoring prowess and team made of Swiss and Polish born players. Important central figure and captain Micheal Ballack has been ruled out by injury but Phillip Lahm and Bastian Schweinstegier are a pair of excellent players. But a crucial lack of firepower should them eliminated before the semi finals.

Australia - team Kangaroo will hope to make the 2nd round and do stand a half decent chance although the team is aging and reliant on Harry Kewell being fit and probably also Mark Schwarzer making a lot of saves. Will be the most friendly bunch of guys out there but football is one sport at which the cork hats aren't that good. Also may be distracted by watching cricket instead of training.

Serbia - another team about which I'll admit I know little but the buzz and word of mouth suggests they are a fairly good outfit and will be expecting to progress past the group stages and that's really all I can say about 'em.

Ghana - a good group of players (including John Mensah who impressed me very much playing for Sunderland this year but don't know how much that says) but with possibly a bit of shortfall in terms of the goal scoring department. Hard to say if they'll make the next round in a tight group but playing in Africa will see them receive great support which might be the tell tale factor.

Right that's halfway for now, I'll do and update with the rest of the groups tomorrow.

You wouldn't think it could be done..

But someone has managed to combine Star Wars, Daft Punk, Snoop Dogg, David Beckham, Noel Gallagher and football into one video. Awesome. (Even's with Beckham's shoddy acting)

World Cup; The real basics

So as requested a quick run down of the brass tacks you need when watching football, with a look at the positions, formations and a quick jargon guide.

The Positions.
Perhaps the biggest area of jargon in the game is the description of where a player, well plays on the field. So lets go through a quick run down;

Goalkeeper (GK) - Pretty obvious this one, the chap that wears gloves and guards the goal. Allowed to handle the ball within the Penalty area (often referred to as the area) except when it's returned to him in a controlled manner by a teammate (though he can still handle the ball if said pass back was a header..still with us?)
A vital member of the team who can effectively win or lose a game single handed depending on his performance. Most squads will take three 'keepers to protect against injury and suspension apart from the sneaky North Koreans.

Center Back (CB) - Basically the heart of defense, a position in the center of the team's defensive line up . Commonly there will be two of these playing at a time in most sides but certain formations can feature three. These guys will be big, strong and not adverse to being a little rough (see the Italians for a masterclass in fouling the hell out of the opponent and getting away with it). Their main priority is to act as a wall against opponents but will occasionally stray upfield to add height to attacking set pieces.

Sweeper (SW) - A position you don't see that often but basically it is that same as the center back in terms of responsibility but set out to play just behind a pair of center backs. I.e he is there to sweep up if those in front of him make a mess of it.

Full back/Wing back (FB/WB)- These guys operate on the sides of the defense and will be looking to prevent opponents from putting it crosses or cutting in from the flanks. A full back will play most of the game as a defender, a wing back is essentially the same position but advanced a little further up the field. Players here are likely to be quick on their feet and good tacklers, not as bullish as the Center backs.

Midfied (MF)- The midfield is the group of players between the defensive line and the attacking line and features a number of variations. For example you can have a 'holding midfielder' whose main responsibility is too help out the defensive by playing just in front of them and making life hard for opponents, winning the ball and playing it simply to the more creative players on his side. Likewise an 'attacking midfielder' will play just behind his team's forwards and look to help them out by either helping to create space or making runs into the opponents penalty area.

Winger (W) - Part of the midfield and but these days you don't see too many out and out 'wingers' (for example David Beckham played most of his career on the right of midfield but would not be described as a winger). A winger plays on either the right or left of the field, he will look to remain close to the touchline on his side and as an attacking player his job is to try and get to the byline (the far end of the pitch) to put in a cross or create a chance at goal.

Center Forward (CF) - A center forward plays at the attacking front end of a team. Looking to score goals primarily but also there to hold up the ball and bring teammates into the play. Likely to be quite a physical presence, Rooney will be seen as one of these.

Striker (ST) - Plays in the same area of the field as the Center Forward with pretty much the same job but doing it in a slightly different way. A striker is looking to score goals first and foremost. He will play off a partner center forward but will look to shot at goal far more than he will look to play in a team mate. Strikers tend to be quick and sharp on the turn and are as happy scoring off their backsides right on the goalline as they are burying twenty yard pile drivers into the top corner.

So that's the basic set of positions of the football field, you will of course get variations but everything is pretty much a derivation of one of the above.

Formations
Now I was going to write all about formations but when looking for visual representations (the 'ol chalk boards) I found a site that goes through the basics of the most common ones so I'll link to that instead. 4-4-2 and the like.

Jargon.
Ok now a quick look at some of the common bits and pieces of jargon and phrases you'll hear.

"Set piece" - an attacking play from a dead ball situation, ie. a corner or a free kick. Teams will commonly work on their set piece play both in terms of defense and attack.

"Goals" - what some commentators call the goal when referring, because they are idiots. EG; "That one came close to the goals"

"Injury time" - the time added on at the end of a half for stoppages during play. Deciding by the ref and relayed by the fourth official on the touchline. Managers will frequently argue about how long is played and why. Typically about three or four minutes unless there's been a massive punch up or something.

"In the hole" - A phrase used to describe a position of play, it refers to a midfield player that plays behind a forward player in advance of the rest of the midfield. He is playing 'in the hole' between attack and midfield, defenses often struggle against people playing here for some reason.

"Man marking"/"Zonal marking" - the two types of defending at set plays. In man marking each defending player is assigned to defend against a specific opponent in a zonal system the defenders will look to defend an area (such as the six yard box)

"Push up" - this is when the defensive line of a team is looking to play as high up the picth as it can, increasing the chances of an opponent being offside.

"Long ball" - basically to pump the ball up and over the top of the midfield. None of this fancy dan passing it around nonsense. Boot it upfield and chase it.

"cross" - To plat the ball across the field into or through the opposition penalty area

"Byline" - The line marking the end of the pitch at the far ends.

"Touch line" - The line marking the sides of the pitch.


Well I hope that helps and next up it will be a look at all those crazy foreigners who also taking part. Any questions on the above or any other jargon just ask!