Currently over on the Total Film website there is a list nominating thirty of the worst films set up as blockbusters that have been made. In brief the list is;
30.Dick Tracy
A strange on this, never quite sure of what kind of tone it wants as it veers from being overly comic bookly styled to half hearted film noir to musical and back plus Beatty & Madonna bring no chemistry to the central pairing
29.The Lost World : Jurassic Park
I actually quite like this, ok the last section is really stupid with the T-Rex running around downtown LA and the premise of a secret 2nd island is little lame but there is excitement and adventure to be had. The cliff hanging trailers sequence is a tense and thrilling set piece as you'll find anywhere else.
28.Last Action Hero
Again I quite enjoy this one as a decent parody of Arnie's own action oeuvre. The cartoon cat is a strange inclusion though it has to be said.
27.Alien : Resurrection
Easily the worst of the core Alien films, it's passable with a couple of interesting ideas for most of it's runtime. Then the Newborn turns up and any credibility gets sucked right out the window along with it.
26.Hudson Hawk
Something of a mis-fire this one and it's not alone in being a vanity project that doesn't work but it's forgettable rather than actively terrible
25.Rocky V
Rocky is good, Rocky II is ok. The rest of them are rubbish.
24.Forrest Gump
Striking in it's day in terms of technology but looking back it is rather mawkish and overly sentimental but Hanks it has to be said plays his role well and the soundtrack digs up some quality songs.
23.Independence Day
Sci-fi cheese of the grandest order, I used to really like it when it came out but re-watching it since it is in truth rather poor in all the sections where things aren't blowing up. Still Will Smith charisma just about pulls it off and watching the White House explode never gets old. Though "Hey, Chaps" British pilots do.
22.Lost In Space
Another one that struggles to really commit one way or another to an approach. The twisty time loopy plot does hold some interest once it gets going but it seems to be trying too hard to be part one of an extended saga
21.Twister
The twisters looks good but the rest of it is, well, boring.
20.Far And Away
Cruise and Kidman prove once again that real life couples can often struggle to put any kind of chemistry on screen in this 'epic' tale of frontier life.
19.Hook
Probably Speilberg's biggest misstep (even above 1941) it's like the Goonies in a Pirate Theme park with a middle aged man thrown in for some reason. I remember not even enjoying it as a undemanding 11-year-old.
18.Highlander 2 : The Quickening
Rubish, simple as. There can only be one and that's the first one.
17.Superman 4 : The Quest For Peace
Filmed for something like the catering budget of the first film in the series it's badly crippled, poor Reeves tries but can not say save this tale of Superman the peace-nik hippy.
16.Armageddon
Another one that is fine entertainment when things are exploding but pretty awful for the rest of it. Just don't think about the science and definitely don't think about Animal Cracker seduction and you'll be entertained. Still it does have one of my favourite lines, "..it's a big ass sky."
15.Ishtar
I haven't seen this but it's reputation implies that it would be a waste of time to bother
14.Popeye
Altman makes family friendly comedy based on a cartoon was never going to work really and lo, ot it doesn't.
13.Howard The Duck
Just goes to prove Lucas has had worse moments than the invention of Jar Jar Binks. Based an adult comic strip making a kiddy friendly movie about a horny duck from outer space was probably the worst idea going since the Star Wars Holiday special
12.Waterworld
Another that I quite like, you can see where the budget was spent and the setting is something different from the norm. Dennis Hopper has a whirl of a time hamming it up as the villain and the steam punk design ethos is quite cool
11.The Postman
Given the choice between Dances With Wolves and Dances with a post van I'll take the former. Over-earnest and numbingly slow paced I've actually never managed to sit through the whole thing
10.Godzilla
A film where you can loose a sky scraped tall lizard in the subway system! It says something that the early pre-release trailer was better than the actual movie as it craftily riffs on Jurassic Park
09.Cutthroat Island
Another one that is lively enough but just rather forgettable overall and forever left with a albatross of a bloated budget and disastrous series production disasters
08.Titanic
Over-long with a terribly unconvincing central love story, the biggest star is the boat even before it sinks.
07.Wild Wild West
Big Willie's first real notable box office failure, it's actually good fun places but another one that reeks of many cooks spoiling the broth.
06.Pearl Harbour
Dull, dull, dull. Then the attack on the titular harbour happens which is a great set piece. But is sadly followed by another couple of hours worth of dull, dull, dull, dull.
05.Star Wars Episode I : The Phantom Menace
Darth Maul is awesome and hey it is Star Wars so I'm programmed at a sub conscious level to like it to some extent but I admit it is quite ponderous and Jake Lloyd is truly terrible.
04.Speed 2 : Cruise Control
As if someone tried to thing of the lest dynamic scenario for film called Speed that they could. Reeves did well to say no to a return in this listless follow up.
03.Battlefield Earth
Yes, look it's another one of those vanity projects that doesn't work. Fails even on that pizza and beer movie level.
02.The Avengers
I actually really enjoyed this when I saw it, taken in the right frame of mind it is an enjoyable daft comedy action romp around. But I totally understand why other people hate it.
01.Batman & Robin
The neon glow finally engulfs the Dark Knight as it finally gets as camp as the 60s TV show. The previous film was saved by a tour De force of mania from Jim Carrey but this time out Arnie just can't carry it off as Bruce's icy nemesis this time round whilst Uma Thurman (unlucky enough to be in the top two) tires and fails to pull off something along the lines of Pfeiffer's Catwoman.
Joel Schumacher admits he was under studio orders to make thing as child friendly and colourful as possible and so decided to go all out on it and boy does it shows. Painful to watch just in terms of the visual assault on the eyes let alone the terrible script and acting.
4 comments:
Batman & Robin is spot on - not just the worst blockbuster, but the worst film ever made.
Putting films like Titanic and Independence Day on the list is churlish though. They might not be high art but they surely deliver as blockbusters. And Forrest Gump may be mawkish in places, but it's still a masterpiece of cinema.
Pearl Harbor we can all agree is awful but it's also the unluckiest film ever in terms of timing. If it had only come out after 9/11 instead of just before, it would have caught the American mood perfectly, made billions of dollars and won a hatful of oscars. Thank goodness it didn't!
It's true that some of the choices seem to be deliberate attempts to be push buttons as it where.
I'm also not convinced something like Highlander II should count as a 'blockbuster'.
I can certainly think of worse films that could be included too, 'Hannibal' for example which was risible.
And how 'Van Helsing' doesn't make the list (or even the 2nd Mummy film) I don't know!
I agree that Titanic and Forrest Gump don't deserve to be on the list. Titanic is still an exercise in atmosphere and the best sinking ever and Gump has some real style. Highlander II was never a blockbuster and Van Helsing's absence is scurrilous.
Independence day and Armageddon are some of the finest examples of a blockbuster - dumb, showy, patriotic and quiltily enjoyable.
"Batman & Robin is spot on - not just the worst blockbuster, but the worst film ever made."
Absolutely. It's certainly the worst film I've ever paid money to see in a cinema, and that's from a list that includes the Spice Girls movie.
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