At quick look at the rebooted slasher with the promise of a bumper content update to follow tomorrow
Saturday, 10 October 2009
Tuesday, 6 October 2009
Horror trailer of the day : Alien
The first, the best, the scariest. The original feature trialer for Alien is itself haunting and coldly effective like the very film it advertises.
Anyone who tells you Aliens is better is wrong. Up next a ramble and a rant about George A Romero and his 'Dead' series of films; which is taking longer to put together than I thought (partly due to Stargate : Bigby, as I shall be calling it, starting today with a double salvo)
Anyone who tells you Aliens is better is wrong. Up next a ramble and a rant about George A Romero and his 'Dead' series of films; which is taking longer to put together than I thought (partly due to Stargate : Bigby, as I shall be calling it, starting today with a double salvo)
Monday, 5 October 2009
Horror trailer of the day : Funny Games (2007)
It's Michael Haneke's english laguage update of his own film, based on the tale of couple taken hostage by a pair of psychotic young men it takes this basic horror premise and uses it to ask questions on our modern relationship with violence, it doesn't really manage to answer them and the final reel twist is a divider of audencies. It's also certainly not an easy film to watch and is basically shot for shot the same as the first version.
Death, strange sense of humour.
Ok, I admit it I'm going to kick this thing off properly with something that seems to be the very pinnacle of what I don't like about horror films, but hear me out.
First off all the Final Destination series barely counts as horror for me. It's much closer to some kind of dark hearted comedy. With each installment built on the premise that some people escape death via a precognitive vision but are then offed one by one by the spirit of death itself what we get is basically a series of slap stick set pieces as filtered through something of a Grimm Fairytales lens.
The brainchild of X-Files luminaries Glen Morgan and James Wong the original film sees a bunch of high school kids thrown off a play minutes before it explodes in mid air. The first real indication of some sly smarts at play comes when we as the audience seen the plane explode in back of shot whilst the characters argue about being on it in the foreground with a beautiful second or so of delay before the window shatters.
A month later and people start dying in strange accidents, strangely convoluted and over intricate accidents. And there lies the joy, once it becomes obviously evitable that the majority of the cast are doomed it's a case sitting back and trying to guess exactly how there are to meet their ends.
Each major sequence cunningly offers up a number of potential hazards that could do the deed before normally managing to combine them all into some kind of mouse trap like dominoes effect of death.
Following installments basically change the cast but keep the formula with little effort to build any unnecessary mythos around the events. Now I normally don't like films that are all about horrible deaths and awful pain, but the Final Destination series takes these tools and plays it for laughs and more importantly does ask uys to revel in the suffering of others. Once they come the deaths are quick and then it's off and on to the next one, no prolonged scenes of torture to be found. (Though I admit the first salvo of the third feel does freak me out)
Pretty much the cinema equivalent of the Ghost Train at the fair or the rollercoaster the films pitch the audience this way and that but we all know what is coming. A bit like Tom and Jerry cartoons rendered real. These film know exactly what they are and run with it, upping the ante to daftly deadly highs. Most will find they are remotely horrified but do end up with grins on their faces as they chortle in disbelief.
Reveal in the comedic violent excess with Empire's list of the ten best deaths from the series, though it will spoil the wicked surprise if you haven't seen them
First off all the Final Destination series barely counts as horror for me. It's much closer to some kind of dark hearted comedy. With each installment built on the premise that some people escape death via a precognitive vision but are then offed one by one by the spirit of death itself what we get is basically a series of slap stick set pieces as filtered through something of a Grimm Fairytales lens.
The brainchild of X-Files luminaries Glen Morgan and James Wong the original film sees a bunch of high school kids thrown off a play minutes before it explodes in mid air. The first real indication of some sly smarts at play comes when we as the audience seen the plane explode in back of shot whilst the characters argue about being on it in the foreground with a beautiful second or so of delay before the window shatters.
A month later and people start dying in strange accidents, strangely convoluted and over intricate accidents. And there lies the joy, once it becomes obviously evitable that the majority of the cast are doomed it's a case sitting back and trying to guess exactly how there are to meet their ends.
Each major sequence cunningly offers up a number of potential hazards that could do the deed before normally managing to combine them all into some kind of mouse trap like dominoes effect of death.
Following installments basically change the cast but keep the formula with little effort to build any unnecessary mythos around the events. Now I normally don't like films that are all about horrible deaths and awful pain, but the Final Destination series takes these tools and plays it for laughs and more importantly does ask uys to revel in the suffering of others. Once they come the deaths are quick and then it's off and on to the next one, no prolonged scenes of torture to be found. (Though I admit the first salvo of the third feel does freak me out)
Pretty much the cinema equivalent of the Ghost Train at the fair or the rollercoaster the films pitch the audience this way and that but we all know what is coming. A bit like Tom and Jerry cartoons rendered real. These film know exactly what they are and run with it, upping the ante to daftly deadly highs. Most will find they are remotely horrified but do end up with grins on their faces as they chortle in disbelief.
Reveal in the comedic violent excess with Empire's list of the ten best deaths from the series, though it will spoil the wicked surprise if you haven't seen them
Sunday, 4 October 2009
Eek! Halloween is a-coming
Seeing as this is the month of Halloween I figure I'll spend time over the coming days looking at, thinking about and talking about horror films. Horror as a general is genre that rarely interests me, the vast majority of it seems to be witless, soulless and craftless.
However I do find the odd film that does hold something to it other than large chested teenagers (and those can be guys or girls!) being stalked by a unstoppable maniac. So we'll be taking a look at some of those this month, alongside I imagine a couple of rants about the crappier end of the scale. I will also do my best to seek out and recommend some horror films that you may not have come across before and/or which I would actually go as far as to actually say they are good film.
Anyway a quick start with a look at a French film from last year, a first time effort for the director and writer it has picked strong buzz from the festival circuit and plays on some primal fears and motivations. Seems Europe is still full of twisted and scary things...
However I do find the odd film that does hold something to it other than large chested teenagers (and those can be guys or girls!) being stalked by a unstoppable maniac. So we'll be taking a look at some of those this month, alongside I imagine a couple of rants about the crappier end of the scale. I will also do my best to seek out and recommend some horror films that you may not have come across before and/or which I would actually go as far as to actually say they are good film.
Anyway a quick start with a look at a French film from last year, a first time effort for the director and writer it has picked strong buzz from the festival circuit and plays on some primal fears and motivations. Seems Europe is still full of twisted and scary things...
Saturday, 3 October 2009
The Worst Blockbusters Ever Made?
Currently over on the Total Film website there is a list nominating thirty of the worst films set up as blockbusters that have been made. In brief the list is;
30.Dick Tracy
A strange on this, never quite sure of what kind of tone it wants as it veers from being overly comic bookly styled to half hearted film noir to musical and back plus Beatty & Madonna bring no chemistry to the central pairing
29.The Lost World : Jurassic Park
I actually quite like this, ok the last section is really stupid with the T-Rex running around downtown LA and the premise of a secret 2nd island is little lame but there is excitement and adventure to be had. The cliff hanging trailers sequence is a tense and thrilling set piece as you'll find anywhere else.
28.Last Action Hero
Again I quite enjoy this one as a decent parody of Arnie's own action oeuvre. The cartoon cat is a strange inclusion though it has to be said.
27.Alien : Resurrection
Easily the worst of the core Alien films, it's passable with a couple of interesting ideas for most of it's runtime. Then the Newborn turns up and any credibility gets sucked right out the window along with it.
26.Hudson Hawk
Something of a mis-fire this one and it's not alone in being a vanity project that doesn't work but it's forgettable rather than actively terrible
25.Rocky V
Rocky is good, Rocky II is ok. The rest of them are rubbish.
24.Forrest Gump
Striking in it's day in terms of technology but looking back it is rather mawkish and overly sentimental but Hanks it has to be said plays his role well and the soundtrack digs up some quality songs.
23.Independence Day
Sci-fi cheese of the grandest order, I used to really like it when it came out but re-watching it since it is in truth rather poor in all the sections where things aren't blowing up. Still Will Smith charisma just about pulls it off and watching the White House explode never gets old. Though "Hey, Chaps" British pilots do.
22.Lost In Space
Another one that struggles to really commit one way or another to an approach. The twisty time loopy plot does hold some interest once it gets going but it seems to be trying too hard to be part one of an extended saga
21.Twister
The twisters looks good but the rest of it is, well, boring.
20.Far And Away
Cruise and Kidman prove once again that real life couples can often struggle to put any kind of chemistry on screen in this 'epic' tale of frontier life.
19.Hook
Probably Speilberg's biggest misstep (even above 1941) it's like the Goonies in a Pirate Theme park with a middle aged man thrown in for some reason. I remember not even enjoying it as a undemanding 11-year-old.
18.Highlander 2 : The Quickening
Rubish, simple as. There can only be one and that's the first one.
17.Superman 4 : The Quest For Peace
Filmed for something like the catering budget of the first film in the series it's badly crippled, poor Reeves tries but can not say save this tale of Superman the peace-nik hippy.
16.Armageddon
Another one that is fine entertainment when things are exploding but pretty awful for the rest of it. Just don't think about the science and definitely don't think about Animal Cracker seduction and you'll be entertained. Still it does have one of my favourite lines, "..it's a big ass sky."
15.Ishtar
I haven't seen this but it's reputation implies that it would be a waste of time to bother
14.Popeye
Altman makes family friendly comedy based on a cartoon was never going to work really and lo, ot it doesn't.
13.Howard The Duck
Just goes to prove Lucas has had worse moments than the invention of Jar Jar Binks. Based an adult comic strip making a kiddy friendly movie about a horny duck from outer space was probably the worst idea going since the Star Wars Holiday special
12.Waterworld
Another that I quite like, you can see where the budget was spent and the setting is something different from the norm. Dennis Hopper has a whirl of a time hamming it up as the villain and the steam punk design ethos is quite cool
11.The Postman
Given the choice between Dances With Wolves and Dances with a post van I'll take the former. Over-earnest and numbingly slow paced I've actually never managed to sit through the whole thing
10.Godzilla
A film where you can loose a sky scraped tall lizard in the subway system! It says something that the early pre-release trailer was better than the actual movie as it craftily riffs on Jurassic Park
09.Cutthroat Island
Another one that is lively enough but just rather forgettable overall and forever left with a albatross of a bloated budget and disastrous series production disasters
08.Titanic
Over-long with a terribly unconvincing central love story, the biggest star is the boat even before it sinks.
07.Wild Wild West
Big Willie's first real notable box office failure, it's actually good fun places but another one that reeks of many cooks spoiling the broth.
06.Pearl Harbour
Dull, dull, dull. Then the attack on the titular harbour happens which is a great set piece. But is sadly followed by another couple of hours worth of dull, dull, dull, dull.
05.Star Wars Episode I : The Phantom Menace
Darth Maul is awesome and hey it is Star Wars so I'm programmed at a sub conscious level to like it to some extent but I admit it is quite ponderous and Jake Lloyd is truly terrible.
04.Speed 2 : Cruise Control
As if someone tried to thing of the lest dynamic scenario for film called Speed that they could. Reeves did well to say no to a return in this listless follow up.
03.Battlefield Earth
Yes, look it's another one of those vanity projects that doesn't work. Fails even on that pizza and beer movie level.
02.The Avengers
I actually really enjoyed this when I saw it, taken in the right frame of mind it is an enjoyable daft comedy action romp around. But I totally understand why other people hate it.
01.Batman & Robin
The neon glow finally engulfs the Dark Knight as it finally gets as camp as the 60s TV show. The previous film was saved by a tour De force of mania from Jim Carrey but this time out Arnie just can't carry it off as Bruce's icy nemesis this time round whilst Uma Thurman (unlucky enough to be in the top two) tires and fails to pull off something along the lines of Pfeiffer's Catwoman.
Joel Schumacher admits he was under studio orders to make thing as child friendly and colourful as possible and so decided to go all out on it and boy does it shows. Painful to watch just in terms of the visual assault on the eyes let alone the terrible script and acting.
30.Dick Tracy
A strange on this, never quite sure of what kind of tone it wants as it veers from being overly comic bookly styled to half hearted film noir to musical and back plus Beatty & Madonna bring no chemistry to the central pairing
29.The Lost World : Jurassic Park
I actually quite like this, ok the last section is really stupid with the T-Rex running around downtown LA and the premise of a secret 2nd island is little lame but there is excitement and adventure to be had. The cliff hanging trailers sequence is a tense and thrilling set piece as you'll find anywhere else.
28.Last Action Hero
Again I quite enjoy this one as a decent parody of Arnie's own action oeuvre. The cartoon cat is a strange inclusion though it has to be said.
27.Alien : Resurrection
Easily the worst of the core Alien films, it's passable with a couple of interesting ideas for most of it's runtime. Then the Newborn turns up and any credibility gets sucked right out the window along with it.
26.Hudson Hawk
Something of a mis-fire this one and it's not alone in being a vanity project that doesn't work but it's forgettable rather than actively terrible
25.Rocky V
Rocky is good, Rocky II is ok. The rest of them are rubbish.
24.Forrest Gump
Striking in it's day in terms of technology but looking back it is rather mawkish and overly sentimental but Hanks it has to be said plays his role well and the soundtrack digs up some quality songs.
23.Independence Day
Sci-fi cheese of the grandest order, I used to really like it when it came out but re-watching it since it is in truth rather poor in all the sections where things aren't blowing up. Still Will Smith charisma just about pulls it off and watching the White House explode never gets old. Though "Hey, Chaps" British pilots do.
22.Lost In Space
Another one that struggles to really commit one way or another to an approach. The twisty time loopy plot does hold some interest once it gets going but it seems to be trying too hard to be part one of an extended saga
21.Twister
The twisters looks good but the rest of it is, well, boring.
20.Far And Away
Cruise and Kidman prove once again that real life couples can often struggle to put any kind of chemistry on screen in this 'epic' tale of frontier life.
19.Hook
Probably Speilberg's biggest misstep (even above 1941) it's like the Goonies in a Pirate Theme park with a middle aged man thrown in for some reason. I remember not even enjoying it as a undemanding 11-year-old.
18.Highlander 2 : The Quickening
Rubish, simple as. There can only be one and that's the first one.
17.Superman 4 : The Quest For Peace
Filmed for something like the catering budget of the first film in the series it's badly crippled, poor Reeves tries but can not say save this tale of Superman the peace-nik hippy.
16.Armageddon
Another one that is fine entertainment when things are exploding but pretty awful for the rest of it. Just don't think about the science and definitely don't think about Animal Cracker seduction and you'll be entertained. Still it does have one of my favourite lines, "..it's a big ass sky."
15.Ishtar
I haven't seen this but it's reputation implies that it would be a waste of time to bother
14.Popeye
Altman makes family friendly comedy based on a cartoon was never going to work really and lo, ot it doesn't.
13.Howard The Duck
Just goes to prove Lucas has had worse moments than the invention of Jar Jar Binks. Based an adult comic strip making a kiddy friendly movie about a horny duck from outer space was probably the worst idea going since the Star Wars Holiday special
12.Waterworld
Another that I quite like, you can see where the budget was spent and the setting is something different from the norm. Dennis Hopper has a whirl of a time hamming it up as the villain and the steam punk design ethos is quite cool
11.The Postman
Given the choice between Dances With Wolves and Dances with a post van I'll take the former. Over-earnest and numbingly slow paced I've actually never managed to sit through the whole thing
10.Godzilla
A film where you can loose a sky scraped tall lizard in the subway system! It says something that the early pre-release trailer was better than the actual movie as it craftily riffs on Jurassic Park
09.Cutthroat Island
Another one that is lively enough but just rather forgettable overall and forever left with a albatross of a bloated budget and disastrous series production disasters
08.Titanic
Over-long with a terribly unconvincing central love story, the biggest star is the boat even before it sinks.
07.Wild Wild West
Big Willie's first real notable box office failure, it's actually good fun places but another one that reeks of many cooks spoiling the broth.
06.Pearl Harbour
Dull, dull, dull. Then the attack on the titular harbour happens which is a great set piece. But is sadly followed by another couple of hours worth of dull, dull, dull, dull.
05.Star Wars Episode I : The Phantom Menace
Darth Maul is awesome and hey it is Star Wars so I'm programmed at a sub conscious level to like it to some extent but I admit it is quite ponderous and Jake Lloyd is truly terrible.
04.Speed 2 : Cruise Control
As if someone tried to thing of the lest dynamic scenario for film called Speed that they could. Reeves did well to say no to a return in this listless follow up.
03.Battlefield Earth
Yes, look it's another one of those vanity projects that doesn't work. Fails even on that pizza and beer movie level.
02.The Avengers
I actually really enjoyed this when I saw it, taken in the right frame of mind it is an enjoyable daft comedy action romp around. But I totally understand why other people hate it.
01.Batman & Robin
The neon glow finally engulfs the Dark Knight as it finally gets as camp as the 60s TV show. The previous film was saved by a tour De force of mania from Jim Carrey but this time out Arnie just can't carry it off as Bruce's icy nemesis this time round whilst Uma Thurman (unlucky enough to be in the top two) tires and fails to pull off something along the lines of Pfeiffer's Catwoman.
Joel Schumacher admits he was under studio orders to make thing as child friendly and colourful as possible and so decided to go all out on it and boy does it shows. Painful to watch just in terms of the visual assault on the eyes let alone the terrible script and acting.
Friday, 2 October 2009
Trailer of the day : The Fantastic Mr Fox
When The Royal Tennenbaums meets Roald Dahl you get Wes Anderson's 'The Fantastic Mr Fox' and I am very much looking forward to it.
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