Eyes: Not any more.
Hair: No hair either. Stop picking on the poor guy.
Genitals: Oh come on! That's not even a category. You want him to start crying hot, salty tears from his non-eyes? Cos that will freak you out!
Turn-Ons: Berating minions; trying to nick magic castles.
Turn-Offs: Moralising lectures; facial cleanser.
Nemesis: A freaky Aryan with the business end of half a magic sword and a deeply distressing obsession with body-building. Overcompensate much?
Luxury Items: Havoc staff; magic sword (the crappy half).
Choice Of Minion: Mer-Man, whose insistence upon fleeing at the slightest provocation can make for a useful diversion.
The Evil Lord of Destruction. A demon from another dimension. A sorcerer so skilled and evil that he once beat a man with the head of a dead pig. This is not an guy that you want to on get the wrong side of. He'll turn you into a frog and then cackle campily as his flunkies try to capture you (a job which they will inevitably bungle, of course). Alright, so he's unable to recognise the same person once they discard their pink waistcoat and white skinny-T, but the man hasn't any eyes; so give him a break.
Skeletor's biggest weakness could be his sentimentality. This may be revealed once he begins to miss his pet panther, Panthor (itself a replacement for his hamster Hamstor, which Beast-Man ate under the impression it was a strangely furry Twinkie). After all, deep down, all Skeletor really wants is to be loved.
And to take over the universe. And to have a face.
Do I look like I ordered the bouillabaisse, you purple Irish harlot?
1 comment:
The thing that always confuses me about Skeletor is the muscle bulging everywhere under his outfit.
Does he have some semblance of a regular body under those clothes, and is merely lamped with a skull for a head? Or is he, as his name would seem to imply, a skeleton that wears a muscle suit in order to physically represent his magically-enhanced strength and intimidate friend - well, insubordinate - and foe alike? I'm not really sure which is more disturbing in a children's cartoon: a headless muscleman sorcerer, or an animated skeleton with a rubber fetish. Given that he's often seen grappling with a similarly proportioned, half-naked Adonis in what is barely more than fetish gear, it's a wonder many young minds weren't left permanently scarred in the 80s.
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