Make Morris Mayor!

Arkham is a city under siege. Mayor Peabody would have you believe that street theft, burglaries, and mysterious disappearances have been reduced. Yet the Arkham Advertiser tells a different story. How can we enjoy our peaceful lives when at any time we may be jostled by uncouth adolescents, or disembowelled by a Dimensional Shambler? Every late-night bus trip could become a journey into terror when your driver attacks you with a enchanted blade, or turns out to be a Deep One, or something.

Citizens of Arkham : the time to fight back is now! A vote for me is an endorsement of my four point plan for reclaiming the streets! I shall:

• Work with members of the local community to achieve a 40% reduction in SAN loss, along with a corresponding 20% drop in random monster attacks and ritual organ-removal.
• Introduce tougher immigration policies for the following groups:
  i) mind-controlling insects;
  ii) time-travelling killer dogs;
  iii) troublesome colours. By which I mean those “out of space”, rather than the blacks;
  iv) the blacks.
• Overhaul city education, ending our over-reliance on the soft subjects such as English and Maths, and instead concentrating on vital life skills, including Spot Hidden, Library Use, and Not Splitting Up To Search Old Man Bishop’s Eighteenth-Century Lair.
• Lower taxes to stimulate the economy, therefore protecting the livelihood of valuable local businesses, such as sanitariums, funeral homes, and the purveyors of Elder Signs.
  

Ignore your lying incumbent (even though he is not a Serpent Person from ancient Valusia... as far as I know)! Deny his lick-spittle officials! Angrily wave away any statistics you might find that disagree with your own prejudices! Only I, Morris Smithson, can save you now!

A young Smithson, with fellow members of the Arkham Historical Society. Of those photographed, four were tortured into madness by Moon beasts, two ended up trapped on the hideous Plateau of Leng, “Stiffy” Williams was murdered by a hyper-intelligent obtuse angle from the Andromeda Spiral, and the man at the top left was lynched after we discovered his grandpa was a Mexican.