Eight Reasons

Eight reasons why a small child from the far future might choose to spend eternity in a simulation of suburban life in 2008.

1. Last chance to play with horses before the hideous Pony Plague of 2009;
2. Heard about Take That reunion, hopes second post-split album a return to form;
3. Hard enough to live in world where 2001: A Space Odyssey has been proven not to happen without the space-time continuum pissing all over 2010, too;
4. Desperate to watch the Turkic Ghaznavid defeat the Hindu Confederacy at Peshawar in 1008; too proud to acknowledge mistake;
5. Big Brother 9 first series in which bickering housemates inadvertently raise Great Cthulhu;
6. Hopes to visit an independent Kosovo before the Russians nuke it in the 2020‘s;
7. Trying to be first to lay hands upon history’s greatest gadget: the iPod Fuckton;
8. Lazy plot contrivance somehow mistaken for an intriguing twist.