Tuesday 3 June 2008

Inappropriate Merchandise No. 2

The more I think about it, the more I think pissing away an awesome concept like a Wire based board game on something as irredeemably awful as Monopoly is totally morally unacceptable. I don't want to have to explain to the man upstairs why I took one of the best television programmes of the last ten years and slapped in on the front of a box whose contents couldn't be more toxic if they were coated in anthrax.

Thus begins OFR's search for the perfect board game to crudely tart up to resemble the show in question. This week:

The Wire Cluedo

I can't believe I didn't think of this before! It's a perfect fit! Well, you'd have to move around the city of Baltimore rather than a musty stately home; and the murder weapons would all be guns of varying declensions (plus maybe poisoned heroin if the murder site turns out to be Baltimore State Penitentiary); and every time you entered a room with Pryzbylewski there'd be a small chance he would shoot you by accident; and depending on your character choice you may also have to play the game drunk, on drugs, or whilst avoiding your pregnant lesbian lover; and the fact that the murder victim is called Dr Black means there's going to have to be an investigation into whether the crime was racially motivated; and each game lasts a random number of turns before the politicians demand you shut the case down and play a new game instead. But other than that, you don't really have to change all that much at all.

Make sure to bring your soft eyes, grasshopper.

1 comment:

Gooder said...

I think it was Omar in the crack den with the gun from one of those A countries.