Eight Reasons 3

Eight reasons why the Jersey population is much better than those bastards squatting on Guernsey:

1. Jersey cows genial and honey brown, whereas Guernsey cows merely docile and fawn;

2. Lack of tiny burnt bodies conclusive proof that Guernsey child killers far more sneaky and underhanded than Jersey ones;
3. System in which elected three year term Constables (assisted by two Procureur du Bien Public) head parishes divided into vingtaines (cueillettes in St. Ouen) far more naturalistic and intuitive than needlessly complex mess generated by fractionally different system employed by Guernsey;

4. The Nazis were going to leave Jersey alone in the Second World War but Guernsey was all like, "Hitler, dude; Jersey told France you were a douchebag!";

5. "Ma Normandie" much more macho-sounding anthem title than "Sarnia Cherie";

6. Guernsey's Wikipedia article a puny 90% the size of Jersey's;

7. Guernsey murdered Rowanoke Island in the sixteenth century and is still wearing its skin!

8. Jersey's dad could totally take Guernsey's dad, and the Isle of Wight says so too.